Hello my fellow Planeswalkers!
Mathew from GenericBadMagic here with a deck that’s perfect for the kitchen table (because it’s legal in zero other formats) and made up of my favourite creature type in the game… SQUIRRELS!
I figured it was best to leave brewing in Standard until after the banned and restricted announcement to get the best possible idea of the meta I’ll be playing in for the coming months, so today it’s a totally casual deck that should be very nicely balanced for the kitchen table and offer good fun gameplay against your friends concoctions. The format is 60 card Casual Constructed and no card is off limits, however it was in the forefront of my thinking to keep the power level reasonable and focus more on theme than function.
Lets start with our creature package:
4x Llanowar Elves
4x Blossom Dryad
4x Squirrel Mob
2x Deranged Hermit
4x Earl of Squirrel
Llanowar Elves and Blossom Dryad help us to ramp out our entire hand, flooding the field in the process. This is very much likely to draw some of the opponents removal as you may as well “always bolt the bird”. (Bolt the bird meaning to kill the mana dork, referring originally to Birds of Paradise)
Squirrel Mob is the first of our fuzzy little friends to make an appearance and actually only one of two Squirrel permanents in the deck, however it likes to benefit from our Squirrel generating effects and generally get pumped up.
Deranged Hermit is one of our lord effects which also generates four squirrels in one go (boosting our mob) and makes them all bigger. If you don’t want to pay the echo cost it’s still decent for making Squirrel Mob a big ol’ four power and toughness bigger. (five until you have to sacrifice him)
Making his way to the ring, weighing in at around 600 grams (yes I researched Red Squirrel weight…), it’s our rodential overlord… THE EARL OF SQUIRREL! Straight outta Unstable (it’s casual remember) this guy comes down to make every creature token we may end up controlling into a Squirrel and even makes all of our Squirrels bigger through the anthem effect. What’s more it gives us the best keyword ability in all of Magic history: Squirrelink, generating one squirrel for each damage it deals. Squirrel Mob likes this guy, receiving a huge boost over the course of a game where you keep the Earl alive.
4x Chatter of the Squirrel
4x Squirrel Nest
4x Druids Call
3x Acorn Harvest
3x Parallel Lives
So, we need to make Squirrels to fuel our mob and overrun our opponent, Chatter of the Squirrel and Acorn Harvest do a decent job of getting more bodies on the field and can even be flashed back from the graveyard.
Druids Call, primarily when enchanting Squirrel Mob, can threaten to really take over the game, discouraging damaged based removal targeting our muscular fuzzballs and naturally making the Mob bigger whenever it takes damage.
Squirrel Nest was added to the deck to combo with Blossom Dryad, letting us create two Squirrels each turn by tapping and untapping (then re-tapping) one land, as always, making Squirrel Mob bigger.
Parallel Lives opens a portal to an alternate reality where literal hordes of Squirrels lay in wait, patiently looking for an opportunity to spill over into our world and assert total domination.
The last card I added to this deck was Rancor because why not give your 15/15 Squirrel +2/+0 and Trample?
Along with eighteen copies of basic Forest in our deck we utilise a playset of Swamyard, giving us a level of protection for our Earl of Squirrel or Squirrel Mob.
This is a deck I decided to brew up after playing in Unstable, because if there’s one thing it taught me, it’s that sometimes its important to get back to the roots of Magic and focus on just having fun rather than being competitive.
Try it out, have a great time and start wondering why everyone doesn’t have a casual Squirrels deck!
Until next time you can catch me on Twitter @GenericBadMtg or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org
In conclusion… all hail our new Rodent Masters!